Lost Again

Tonight was the premiere of Lost. Weirdly enough, I wasn't overly anticipating it throughout the day. But I was glad when it was time to start and the Lost Clubbers arrived. My excitement rose as the opening credits began but the episode didn't move my world, so to speak. It probably didn't help that I read rave reviews about it beforehand, so my hopes were high--a bit too high. Sigh.

A neighbor lady stopped by before it began needing to borrow something and asked if it was someone's birthday. I explained that we were watching the show Lost together. She exclaimed that she loved Lost (Who couldn't? Besides you, Kyle) so I invited her to stay. She didn't take me up on my offer. Of course, we might have scared her with our over-enthusiastic enthusiasm. But it just goes to show you never know who the Lost are around you. Wink. Okay, it's a lousy pun. But I'm compelled to make them with a name like that.

Library Contest

The Library is having a fiction contest and I'm having a fit deciding what story to turn in. I believe I have the perfect one and at the end of the day I edit it and think, "This! This is beautiful". Then I wipe a lonely tear from my eye and go to bed happy.

In the morning I wake up to re-read my amazing masterpiece only to find that through the night some elf broke into my computer to demolish it because now it's crap! So I start over again, or scratch that story altogether, and hunt through my neatly arranged files attempting to find the next available contestant.

I find it. This! This is the one. And once more, I go to sleep happy. But in the morning that nasty little elf has done it again and I'm completely mortified.

So I've decided to deliver my next piece to the library in the evening before it can be destroyed - that'll show the little elffing thing!

10 Ways to Avoid the Minister's Wife Stereotype

1. Wear your fluffy Sponge-Bob slippers to church.

2. Make sure your eye make-up matches Avril Lavigne.

3. When it's time for prayer at the Ladies Tea, stare fixedly at the ceiling as if you're worried it's growing asbestos.

4. Put a temporary tattoo in an obvious place, such as--your forehead.

5. Keep a Harry Potter book under your arm at all times.

6. When someone corners you for advice, wrinkle your forehead and say, "Huh?" with the most hick-like accent you can muster.

7. If the Kitchen Ladies ask you to help serve dinner, scratch your crotch ferociously then ask where you should start.

8. When parishioners call to get a phone number on what they presume to be the Pastor's Wife Hotline, give them the number to the local prison instead.

9. Leave your kids in the church office with the staff while you go to a matinee.

10. If the elders question why you weren't in church on Sunday, explain that you overslept because you were ministering to your husband on Saturday night then give a big wink.