When I was young, I used to separate my food. I didn't want the peas to touch the mashed potatoes. I ate one little section at a time until I was finished with my meal. Nowadays, I could care less if it's all mushed up together, but I wonder if I started a pattern back then. It seems that in my life, I section off who I am and work with parts of myself one at a time.
For example, it seems that if I'm doing good in the Wife department, then I may be doing bad in the Mom department. Or perhaps the Housekeeper me is keeping everything clean (which could only be a miracle) but Teacher me is struggling. I swear it seems that if one section is succeeding then inevitably another is failing. Why can't I get all those balls in the air and juggle them at once?
My 21 Days are up on my screenplay deadline. I just cut eight pages. Ouch. I'm finished, sort of. Not sure if I ever truly FINISH a writing. It doesn't matter how many times I read it, I always change something. But maybe that's the process. Kind of like life.
Perhaps all those compartmentalized moments are like scenes in my life play. I have to be willing to let myself have the ups and the downs to get through any Act of my life. Deep down I know what I must do. Congratulate myself for the balls in the air and forgive myself for the rest.
8 comments:
I wish that just for one moment, even a short one, that everything would be in "good standing", so to speak. It's hard to know what to accept as humanity and part of the story of life and what to pursue to "fix". Congratulations on finishing your first screenplay, and for reminding me as your husband did that I need to write.
I agree!
Congratulations, I am so proud of you! I think we're all like that, when this part's good than that one is needing attention and vice versa. We'd be perfect otherwise, right? Although, I still can't stand for my foods to touch. :)
I think we would all be confused if one day we noticed everything was balanced in our lives. As long as it's the right things to be balancing, I'd like to think we're doing alright!
Very interesting! My husband I've been told was like that even as a child...and he certainly is still that way today. Funny!! Anyway, I am proud for you. It is good that you can prioritize in one area to complete a task. You are probably being harder on yourself than anyone else would. In a year, you won't even remember the load of laundry that didn't get done on time, or whatever else that you feel is getting neglected. I've been there and done that too! I think most mamas can say that they feel that way alot!!! Just remember how much your family and friends adore you!!
WOOOO HOOO!!! I am soo proud of you for finishing your screen play!! I can totally relate to the one at a time success/failure. I wish it could all get rolling too. However, for today I am celebrating the one HUGE feat of Finishing Your First Screenplay!!!
Plus, in my opinion, (what I have seen)It Is Awesome!
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Laughing. Thanks for reminding me, Heather.
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