Words

I have long been a lover of words. Even when I was very young I would try to invent new words in the hopes that they would one day end up in the dictionary. "Gont" was one of them. I have long forgotten what the meaning was but I recall the joy of creating words.

Perhaps the act of creating is the most significant part of writing or reading a passage. The joy of sharing in someone else's thoughts or their perspective in a story. Even more the excitement of pouring your own soul into a thought and letting another glimpse your heart through the window of words.

As C.S. Lewis, one of my favorite authors, writes from his book, Prince Caspian:

"I think I'll have to go right back to the beginning and tell you how Caspian grew up in his Uncle's court and how he comes to be on our side at all. But it'll be a long story."
"All the better," said Lucy. "We love stories."

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Sis!
God knew what he was doing putting us in the womb together. You're an incredible friend. I can't imagine my life without you, after all, sharing CAN be fun!

Happy Birthday Bro! (tomorrow)
And what could I have done without a baby brother to kiss and boss around? You keep me laughing.

I love you both. This song is for you. :)

Shall I Not Drink It?

When Peter sees that Judas has a whole army of people ready to take Jesus, he makes a sad attempt of fighting by cutting off the ear of the servant of the High Priest. Jesus puts the ear back on and heals the man. Then he turns to Peter.

"But Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword back into its sheath. Shall I not drink from the cup of suffering the Father has given me?"

Wow. He had someone ready to fight to keep him from hurting and he stopped them. Then he even rebukes Peter with the fact that if God wants him to drink this cup of suffering, should he not do it? I whine about the littlest thing. I've not been asked to die a horrible death (yet). But I fight and cry at each little suffering that is handed to me. This morning as I read this, it humbled me and gave me courage. I would like a heart that's ready to say, "Shall I not drink it?"

Sunday

Sunday. It only comes once a week but how much I love it! I couldn't say that five years ago. In fact, I dreaded church with a passion. I had to push and prod my little ones to get ready. Once I got to church, I would seeth and almost wretch during the sermon. I was full of frustration.

But now, it's different. I wake my children up. If they're still sleepy and slowly creeping out of bed, all I have to say is, "Today is Sunday". Their eyes grow wide with excitement. "It's Sunday?!" They jump out of bed as if their life depended on it and frantically start getting ready. Then they hurry me.

Why is it so different? You might ask. Oh, I could never name the many ways. So I'll just name a few. It's real. People are truthful and gutwrenchingly open. The pastors speak from the heart. They don't preach AT you and they don't yell. They simply share. Everyone is welcome. Really. Not just in word. I leave refreshed and ready to face my week. And, I can wear jeans.

I love Sunday.

Addicted To Lost

I might as well face it, I'm addicted. I love this show. Wednesday has turned into LOSTday.

On A Roll

Yes, I know. Two blogs in a row is extremely rare for me. But today something happened that doesn't happen often in this house so I felt the need to blog about it. Ready? This afternoon, I had one solid hour of quiet. I took the advice of my sister and alloted one hour in the afternoon for quiet play. Each child has their own place. Two of my children share a room but I put one of them in my room to seperate them. See how that works? They cannot fight if they are not together.

There are only four tiny rules:
1.) They may choose their activity but it must be quiet (i.e. books, paper dolls, blocks).
2.) They must be quiet. They cannot talk to each other.
3.) They cannot come to me (unless it is a DIRE emergency, i.e. bleeding profusely).
4.) If they MUST go to the restroom (which you wouldn't think they would given that it is one mere hour, but my children are famous for having to go to the bathroom often), they must go quietly.

See a theme here?

As my children began to grow out of the toddler years (they are many years past them now), I knew there was something I was missing. At first I thought it was the longing for a new little one. But now I've finally realized what it was -- naptime! So I've decided that quiet time has now replaced naptime. Today, in the length of time they were in their quiet play, I got dishes cleaned, floor swept, dinner started and a Bible tape listened to. And you know what the amazing thing was? They liked it!

This is definitely staying on our schedule.

If you're still there...

Okay, so it's almost been a complete month since I wrote anything. You know how when you've waited awhile to write, you keep thinking you need something really great to write? So you keep procrastinating and never get around to sharing anything because no matter what you're thinking it's never good enough? Well, I think that's what's happened to me.

So tonight I decided that I was just going to write. This may go nowhere but at least that blasted dog story will not be the first post on my blog anymore.

Lately, I have become more aware of myself withdrawing. I do this when I feel manipulated, angry, hurt or I'm tired. I know it's wrong. So I am trying desperately to change. Instead of automatically getting angry and shutting down, I'm trying to be more honest in the moment. That has its own struggles since I don't think too fast on my feet. But since I've seen more of my pattern, I notice what I'm doing as I'm doing it and I've been able to stop myself quicker. It's hard! It's like trying to learn to write correctly when you've written incorrectly your entire life.

I'm also learning about spiritual disciplines. That's all I'll say about that because everytime I try to write more about it, it comes out really trite. I can't seem to truly express what I want to say. Maybe I'll figure it out later and can write more on that subject.

Well, it's getting late and I've got to get up early to teach my kiddos school in the morning. Have a great week!