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Deep black where
No light glows.
I feel lost
As one unaided.
My dark friend,
You greet me.
Wish I could
Let you go.
Despise you, failure.
Weary of struggle.
Faced with illusions,
Why want reality?
Long to veil
My relentless anguish.
Cannot mask it,
But I try.
You might think, by my title, that this is a bad thing. But ironically, my first rejection slip has excited and inspired me. For whatever reason, I feel more like a writer because of it. My first thought was -- NEXT! I pulled out my card to see what my second magazine choice was for this article. I am going to send it off again. AND, I'm going to continue to write.
I am working on a screenplay at the moment. I know, I skip around so much. But, I've wanted to try my hand at this for awhile and I try to write where I'm interested. I figure, why fight it? The experience has been exhillarating, frustrating, exhausting, invigorating and most of all it has pushed me past myself. I made a commitment to write it in 21 days and I'm not stopping myself even if I hate parts of it. There will be time to go back and re-do.
Oddly enough, my weight is slowly going down. I say slowly because it's only 1/2 a pound to 1 pound a week. But I'm just happy that it's going in the down direction. I saw a number this week that I've not seen for five years. I almost cried.
Okay, I'll end my Pollyanna post. But I thought that while I was up, I might as well share my happiness. There will be plenty of dark days ahead, I'm sure. Ask me how it's going ten days into this screenplay. ;)
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." John 1:1That verse has always puzzled me and quite honestly, I never found much from it to extract. But this weekend I was reading a book that made this part of the Bible really stand out to me. The author talked in depth about God being the Word. In light of how much I love words, I can't believe that it never hit me like it did in that moment. He is creator, author, WORD. I absolutely love that. AND I especially love how everything He created began with a WORD.He gets me. I never understood how much. (I know this sounds totally self-absorbed because many people write and love words, but I can't help it, it feels personal to me in a way it never has before.)
Last night the show Lost redeemed itself in an amazing turn of pace. The founder of the "land of the LOST" club said,"I was able to sleep well last night knowing the writers have returned to their original passion and I look forward to the unraveling of the mysteries in weeks to come." --LITERATURE LOVER'S Journal, March 8, 2007
I can't believe that it's already March! Man, this year is flying by. Okay, I need to retract my goals for writing. I tried to get four articles out in one week and found that I was WAY over my head. I think I'll go back to my original goal and be happy.
For those of you holding me accountable, I will update you on my new year's resolutions. #1 - Had my physical and a scare about diabetes. But everything finally checked out well. I don't have diabetes. I will consider this my wake-up call. I have continued walking and eating more healthy. #2 - I have been writing (almost) every day. #3 - Sent articles off but need to continue this process. #4 - Ironically, my fun time with the kids has centered around my excercise each day. We've been walking/rollerblading/biking together and it's been a blast! #5 - As far as losing weight, it is coming off slowly, too slowly for my taste. But, I figure I didn't get overweight overnight, so I'm not going to lose it overnight either. Bummer. :)
I must say that again, my LOST show let me down. Whaaa! I look forward to this show every week and up until the last few weeks, I have been happy with it. But, if something doesn't turn around quick, I am going to have tomatoes ready to throw at the television for the next "land of the LOST" party. Grrr.
