Insert Loud Screaming Here!

Today has been one of those days. Everything is getting on my nerves! I feel like I'm just in a bad mood but is that really a good excuse? I know it's not. I have HAD it with the constant interruptions and complaining! For example, Little Mister came into my room whining about several things. I didn't want to hear it. I told him to go into his room until he could come back and talk to me without whining. He threw a big fit grabbing his throat as if dying of thirst (but letting me know he was dying to talk) and wailing. I just looked at him. I told him I didn't want to hear a fit and made him go sit on his bed. He wailed the whole time and then wailed on his bed. I told him that if he didn't stop that he was also getting a spanking. Then I let my tongue get the better of me and snapped at him. I knew I was wrong immediately after I'd said it but I was so frustrated that I didn't care. I had to get off to my bathroom and lock the door for a little prayer to stay calm with the children that I love. Grrr. But I was still feeling really fowl. I was stomping around the house and they were staying out of my way. I had to ask forgiveness for snapping and stomping. They forgave.

To continue my story, Little Mister quickly finished crying then came to my room to ask if he could get up. Only, he whined while he asked. I told him I wasn't listening to whining, it hurt my ears. So he attempted to ask me three more times (I should have only let him ask once) each time whining and each time I repeated it back to him in the way I wanted him to say it. I was beginning to get really upset. I told him that he had no more chances but would have to sit on his bed once again until I called him. Of course this made him let out another wail. I told him to quiet down or there would be a spanking. When I let him up he FINALLY chose to ask in the right way.

We have continued this throughout the day. As I write, he yet again, came in complaining about some toy the girls have that he doesn't. (AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!) This time I didn't snap. Must be a miracle. I told him to sit on his bed. He started crying and saying that he forgot. Forgot? Are you kidding me?! I DON'T CARE!!! I told him that was too bad, he still had to sit on his bed without a fit before I would let him get up. Thankfully, each time he's coming around a little faster.

Maybe it comes to the point of breakdown before I really see what I need to see. Because later it occured to me that what I've seen lately with my eldest daughter snapping at her siblings may actually be coming from me. I hate it when that happens! OR maybe it's because there are some things her siblings are doing that I'm not seeing and I need to be more observant and empathetic to her. Anyway, I need wisdom and a little sleep probably wouldn't hurt. I didn't get much last night so that might be where all this is coming from. If you think about it, send up a prayer for me today. I'm still feeling grumpy.