It's hard to believe that December is here. I love the start of a new month because it means new beginnings. I hate to fail. I guess there is no one that loves it. But I feel like a gymnist bending over backwards sometimes to keep from failing. Interpretation: I don't try anything so I don't have to fail. Stupid, I know, and I see this weakness in myself. In fact, that's why I'm doing this blog. Sadly enough, even as I started to write today my fear halted me several hours before I could even begin typing. There is something so thrilling and yet intimidating about a blank page. Doing this is forcing me to write in spite of my perfectionistic fear. I know I need to enjoy the journey of writing instead of fearing what may be said, or how foolish I look. Writing is not the only area of my life that I'm paralyzed. It's everywhere.
I had an epiphany while reading Edith Scaeffer's book, Hidden Art, that I could be enjoying all the arts every day without waiting to be the great writer, artist, gardener, cook, musician, ect. I can change my little piece of the planet even if it's not always my ideal. Perfectionism is destructive in how it keeps me from even beginning. So to stretch myself, I have begun to take baby steps everyday so I will incorporate more of the arts in my daily life. I am learning to knit. I draw sketches and doodles on everything from kid's chore charts to my grocery list. I have all types of music playing throughout the day from Mozart to Rap and I dance or sing loudly along with my kids. I set the table and get creative with the centerpiece based on the mood I want to create. It can be as casual (Open peanut butter jar with celery "flowers" sticking out of it) or as elegant as I like (raised cake plate with flowers arranged elegantly and candles all around). I want to create beauty all around me. I want to inspire others and energize them. I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of fearing. Let me aim NOT to be perfect but to be beautifully imperfect.
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3 comments:
PERFECTLY said.
I am excited to peek into your thoughts. And I am proud beyond words of this step you have taken. WAY TO GO!!!!! Girl, we are going to break down the walls of perfection and set our sisters free!! WOO-HOO!!! This is going to be fun :-)
Awesome, you little writer you! I'm glad you are steering away from that perfectionism! I loved the ideas you had on making table arrangements. I also loved the final quote which to me seemed to be one that could go down in history. You know how people always quote others, it is that calaber. That is of course when a publisher gets hold of it! Beautifully imperfect! Gotta love that!
Oh! I love how you have written about the beauty of imperfection! Sometimes I wonder if my fear of failure is sometimes my fear (discomfort) in being judged. As I get "older" (haha) I begin to get over that fear, everso slowly. Being creative is good - it's about keeping the flame of living alive :) Always learning, always seeing the beauty in the 'ordninary' always imagining the possibilities and opportunities no matter what the situation.
Stephanie
http://tifty.wordpress.com
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