Man, I love Sundays. That statement is huge coming from me. About four years ago, I hated Sundays because of church. I hated having to get up early and get my kids dressed in their Sunday outfits screaming while I combed their hair. I hated having to hear an alliterated sermon for what seemed like the millionth time. The only redeeming quality of even going was seeing my friends. I felt bogged down by guilt and what I should be doing. I hated it.
I wonder if it was like that for the people of Isreal when the Pharasees stood up to speak and beat them over the head with what they had "added" to God's Law. I laugh so hard when I read in the gospel of John how Jesus asks them questions they can never seem to answer while he exposes their hidious sins. It feels like the underdog is redeemed after all!
I was sick of religiousity and almost ready to chunk the whole thing. At that time we went to church because we had to (my husband was a minister). There is absolutely nothing worse than religion without love. Someone who says, "I love God but I'm not good at relationships" is lying. If you love God, you will love others. In my mind the two didn't mix. Relationships aren't easy for anyone but I haven't found that a "personality difference" is an excuse in the Bible. I began to doubt God and even if I wanted to follow Him. So, I started studying His word for myself to see if I really knew this God. Novel idea, huh? As I've studied I've begun to see who HE really is. He is not some weak sniffling God who never gives out justice and lets His kids run over him. Nor is He the hard-nosed parent who holds rules above loving the family. He is hard to understand, complex but loving and merciful. He's hilarious and knows how to deliver a line. He's intriguing. Of any word that I can describe Him with, it's that one. I am curious about Him now. He has my attention.
I love how C.S. Lewis describes him as Aslan, the Lion, in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe. He's not safe but he's good. (Sidenote: Only 5 days until the movie comes out! Can't wait!!!!!!)
That brings me back to my statement at the beginning of this post. I love Sundays. I don't go because I have to anymore. I go because I want to. I love my church now - a group of people who know they are broken, they know I'm broken and they love me anyway.
3 comments:
Beautiful.
There is nothing like being free to be yourself. There was a great point made last night in our discussion group...something like this:
"It's good to know I don't have to be someone else for God to love me...or for me to love Him."
i think it's incredible because that is by far the one thing everyone that is part of our church says unanimously - about being a group of people who realize our own brokenness and therefore, have a tendency not to quickly judge but to love instead. I really love our church!
yay rivendell! i don't think we will ever stop saying that! i know its not "luck" that i happened upon this group of people, but i still feel lucky. cathy you do such a great job when you sing for us! i find it very interesting that a majority of people here had times when they "hated church," and end up leading it in some way! i think that definately plays a roll in our appreciation for such an awesome place!
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